THE ULTIMATE THREAD OF WIN BECUZ

[Yuka Takeuchi Fan]

THE ULTIMATE THREAD OF WIN BECUZ

so guys,
i saw this girl in a restaraunt eat a huge tower of pancakes with a bored expression. pretty normal looking, she was about seven. she seemed to be sitting with her mother or grandmother or something but as soon as her mother left for..i think the BATHROOM or something, i don't know... but anyways. as soon as mommy left she quickly stood up and pulled down her pink skirt and pulled her white shirt up as well. she smeared the pancake syrup all over her body and started screaming in high-pitched extacy, juices leaking from her pre-pubescent cunt. i looked around, my eyes wide, but i didn't see anybody paying attention - they all were engrossed in their waffles.
even her mother was taking her sweet time putting in her tampon, or whatever she was doing.
so i stood up in my chair, my hands shaking, and i slowly eased to the girl. i asked with a steady voice, "miss, are you alright?" and touched her with one finger. one.
then she stopped and looked at me, her mouth in an expression of shock. everyone who didn't see her orgasming pancake routine all turned to me, looking angry and afraid. "you pedophile! you know what they do to loli lovers like you!" they all said in perfect unison, standing up at the same time and approaching at the same pace, brandishing silver forks and knives and spoons and cups of hot coffee. they all stopped about a foot from me, then attacked sharply at my PENIS while the little girl quickly pulled up her skirt and pulled down her top and resumed eating the pancakes, her bored expression still on her face.
so guys, may i ask what i should do in complete seriousness?

Block it with your testicles. I guarantee it won't hurt, but if it does, try blocking it with your eyeballs. I hear they're some resilient bastards up in there.

[King Zarkon]

will, you need some serious help man.

[Doctor_Raven]

Consult a good automail mechanic.

[Hyperguy]

Guest, why are you reading this?  This topic is over 4 centuries old. D:

[DualSoul]

I'd ask the girl if she'd like a wetnap.

[bfg00]

Guest, why are you reading this?  This topic is over 4 centuries old. D:

Why not?  People love resurrecting dead topics.

[MMX]

I was going to read this thread; then, I had the vague taste of Resident Evil 4 in my mouth and I needed to wash it out with listerine and the satanic mixture of loli blood, cannabis, torn-up pieces of kleenex, and more cannabis.

Also, then I got lazy and two Jews walked into a bar.  Somebody called somebody else a 'negro' and then the corpse of Michael Adams appeared and with a grand, mighty shout of "VIAGRA!" smote the vagrant Episcopalians.

And that's why the chicken crossed the road.

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I am listening to: Aerosmith - Dream On