My review of Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow

[HMD]

Typed quickly and angrily, spelling and grammatical mistakes are left in for the sake of me being too lazy to fix it. Also, done while in IRC.

<HMD> GUYS METAL GEAR IS HOMOEROTIC OMG
<HMD> OMG OMG OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWD
<HMD> i mean it's just gay
<HMD> gay gay gay gay gay gay gay
<HMD> a big fat fucking homogay dogpile orgy of queerness
<HMD> kojima got drunk on rolling rock once so he is clearly a faggot
<HMD> lol love on the battlefield that is insulting to my internet toughguy sensibilities
<HMD> excuse me i need to go flex my biceps and play a stealth action game where the last boss is an old man with a prosthetic leg
<HMD> that doesn't shoot lasers or missiles
<HMD> i mean cause that's just where it's at right?
<HMD> FOR CHRIST'S SAKE FISHER, THE MISSION IS ONE PRE-DETERMIEND PATHWAY
<HMD> OH DON'T FORGET SAM HEADSHOTS DON'T KILL ANYONE
<HMD> USA! USA! USA!
<HMD> even though the fucking game is made in france
<HMD> SHIT YEAH SON STEROIDS AND CHEESBURGERS

[JG]

A final boss that doesn't shoot lasers or missiles?  Blasphemy!

[MMX]

I used to kind of ignore Splinter Cell because I was happy with MG and a couple people told me it had horrible AI.

But then I learned Michael Ironside voiced Sam Fisher.

now... if somebody had told me THAT factoid a long time ago, well then things would have been different.  So I got Double Agent... now I dunno if I bought the worst Splinter Cell game, but god was it awful.  Michael Ironside still fucking rules, though.

[Shane]

I used to kind of ignore Splinter Cell because I was happy with MG and a couple people told me it had horrible AI.

But then I learned Michael Ironside voiced Sam Fisher.

now... if somebody had told me THAT factoid a long time ago, well then things would have been different.  So I got Double Agent... now I dunno if I bought the worst Splinter Cell game, but god was it awful.  Michael Ironside still fucking rules, though.

Don't be disappointed, Splinter Cell just sucks.

[dontpanic]

I enjoyed the first three but never bothered with Double Agent - I mean, I own it - and the Xbox version is much better than the 360 version, sadly - but I did enjoy the first three.  Pandora Tomorrow and Chaos Theory were entertaining.  Yeah, it's not GTA - it's not open world.  It's fun though.  If you go into it with the right expectations, it is solid.  Double Agent tried to make it "edgier" and in the process made it "less good."   I'd rent the older ones and give them each a try in turn.