Batman vs Spider-Man

[JG]

BACKGROUND:

So I opened a can of worms two weeks ago at work when I decided to reorder the placement of a coworker's shelf toys in order of least powerful to most powerful -- about a dozen super hero figures that belonged to her son.  I can't remember them all but I remember putting the Penguin leftmost (weakest) and Superman at the rightmost (strongest) with Darth Vader (technically a Darth Tater) a close second.*  A Transformer (technically a Go-Bot) was somewhere in the middle.

But what really upset my coworker was that I put Batman third, ahead of Spider-Man.  As if I'd clubbed a baby seal right before her eyes.

So we seeked out other opinions, and this has blown up into a full fledged discussion over many days and involved half the office at one point or another. I therefore submit to you, my learned friends, that such a debate is a worthy heir to the legendary battle that is Waffle vs Pancake.



SOME GROUND RULES:

1. Batman is Bruce Wayne.  Spider-Man is Peter Parker.  None of that alternate hero crap.
2. Both are in their prime, well-rested, and ready for a fight.
3. Batman has his belt and all the tools and tricks you think he might have hidden in it, and wears his normal suit and cowl (ie, no sonic-vision cowl); he does not have access to any of his vehicles or sidekicks, nor does he use a gun like he did in the earliest comics.  Spidey also has his normal suit (not Venom) and his silk is the natural out-of-his-arm kind, not the artificial Silly String shooter kind.  The silk has a tensile strength comparable to natural spider silk (but obviously much thicker strands).  All material they bring to the fight is eventually exhaustable, including Spidey's silk.
4. They begin at a respectable distance to each other; there is sufficient room to both move around freely, as well as sufficient objects from which to hang, to climb, to swing, and creating enough shadows to hide in.  Neither character is given a chance to set traps beforehand.
5. The fight ends when one of the two is incapacitated, quits, or is otherwise unable to continue.  (Neither will kill the other.)

If this is too hard, just imagine Christian Bale Batman running into Andrew Garfield (or Toby Maguire, if thats your fancy) Spider-Man in some abandoned factory and the two of them decide to go at.


And if you think its obvious, take a moment to remember that Batman is a trained ninja with tricky gadgets and Spider-Man is exceptionally agile with Spidey Sense.  This is not going to be a Rocky fight where they just stand there exchanging punches nor should you expect it to be an Indiana Jones "bang, you're dead" fight.




* Yes, I know Batman can and has beaten Superman in the past becuase he carries a piece of kryptonite in his belt, but I don't think he can stop a Force-wielding Darth Vader while I think Superman can, so that's why I put them in the order I did. Feel free to debate this as well, but we hashed this out at work already and found that its not half the argument that Bats vs Spidey is.



Next time you're hanging with your friends and are bored, feel free to drop this Q-bomb on them to get things going.

[Arizona]

Is your place hiring? I, too, am quite proficient at doing absolutely nothing productive all day.

[Moge]

Spidey would web Bats before he could pull his silk repellant out of his belt.

[JG]

What about the little saw in his belt that cuts ropes (and webs) when Batman is tied up?

[Arizona]

On a SERIOUS note - why organic webbing for Spider-Man? That was a movie thing, which was in the comic briefly because of the movies, then removed not long after and forgotten about.

[Rai]

I guess it was to keep toys to a minimum? Conceptually, it doesn't make a huge difference. Organic or mechanical, the webbing works the same and typically only runs out when narrative convenience calls for it. He usually has to change web cartridges manually though, so the organic version might be an advantage in this case.

It did give me pause for who to vote for though. First I would assume Batman + prep time could beat Spidey easily enough, but Batman minus prep time puts him at a severe disadvantage to the guy with actual super powers, but then JG's description of Spider-Man comes off sounding like Tobey Maguire and if it's that version of Spider-Man I kinda want him to get beat up just on principle...

It's a tough one to be sure.

[JG]

Agreed.  Both the out-of-arm and the weaponized versions of his silk streams are essentially identical in all aspects, except the out-of-arm kind can't be disabled or broken in some way and naturally recharges, whereas the mechanical version is subjct to damage and is much more limited (out-of-arm kind appears to provide over 10 times the amount of mechanical kind)

If you feel the mechanical version is superior, use it in your argument instead.  Our discussion at work couldn't find a single reason why Spidey would be better with the mechanical kind though, unless the fight happened to take place in the lab where he can easily obtain unlimited amounts of artificial silk.

[Arizona]

Well, I just think it's weird that you'd choose the least common (arguably least loved/most controversial) version of that particular aspect. Perhaps I underestimate the influence of the movies on people, but it still strikes me as strange.

[JG]

New conceptual war going on now: Luke, Vader, or Yoda.

Work is kinda lousy but the conversations are real thinkers.

[Moge]

I prefer the web shooters personally, if only because Parker acquiring the know-how after being bitten is a far more exotic premise.